It is a worrying prospect for most parents to have their kids addicted to porn. We can admit that it is an awkward subject to talk to your kids about. It can also be especially hard when you find out that your kid is watching porn. But you have to talk with your kids whether you are awkward or not. It is more important to talk to teenagers about problems that may be associated with watching porn.
Nowadays, pornographic materials are readily available for anyone to view. Long gone are the days, when kids used to steal playboys for viewing nudity. Porn was really hard to find and view by children back in the day. But now all of these materials are extremely readily available.
There are thousands of sites on the internet that have some pornographic materials or mature content. 84% of teenagers and tweens have admitted to coming across mature or nudity-containing content before the age of 18. This is highly concerning as most parents tend to avoid talking about these subjects.
This leaves their child vulnerable and uninformed. Most information that will be learning about intimacy and intercourse will be learned from porn. This can create several issues in their adult life. Hence, if you come across your child watching pornography, you need to address the situation.
Whether it be finding their browser history or walking in on them watching porn, you need to take some steps. You can know what your kid typed from the keyword as log files. So here is a list of things we recommend you to do and not to do. These suggestions will be helpful to address the situation at hand in the most proper manner.
What Not To Do If Your Kid Is Watching Porn?
Before knowing what you should be doing, we are going to talk about what you should not do. You have to keep in mind that it is as embarrassing for your kid to know that you know they are watching pornography as awkward for you to find out. Hence you have to be cautious about what not to do when you find out. Children often are impacted in a lasting manner when they react to something.
It can create trauma for them if you overreact. It is also important to understand that what you do will last as a lesson in their mind for a lifetime. The key point is trying for good parenting in digital era. The talk can cause them to have a certain viewpoint regarding pornography and even intimacy. So keeping all these in mind, here are suggestions on what you should not do if your kid is watching porn:
1. Do Not Shame Them
It is extremely important for you to not shame your kid when you find them watching pornography. It is natural for children passing through adolescence to be curious when it comes to sexual content. You need to acknowledge to them that having sexual curiosity is a part of growing up. you need to realize that they might be embarrassed about you about these subjects. So do not make them feel bad about watching porn.
You need to approach the subject rather gently. Do not talk to them as if they have done something wrong. It is natural to have some level of curiosity. Do not embarrass them further. We also strictly suggest you avoid talking about your kid watching pornography to anyone else in front of them.
It might contribute to your child feeling more embarrassed than they already are. You need to stay calm and think about possible ways to explain to them about pornography. Talk to your partner in private about what you encountered. Do not discuss with your partner about this topic in front of your child.
2. Do Not Take Away Their Technology
Most parents react to their child watching porn by taking away their devices. They ban their child from using their laptop, mobile phones and even take away their internet connection. It might be instinctive for you to take away their devices to make them stop watching pornography, it might not be the best response. It might be a worse way to stop your child from watching porn.
When the whole world is connected through using devices to stay social, do not take your child’s freedom away by taking away their technology. This is not a cure to the issue at hand. It will just make your kid frustrated and think that you are punishing them for watching pornography.
It is the last thing you want them to feel. They will never confide in you if you punish them for doing something that might come as a part of nature for most teenagers. It will also result in them feeling isolated and lonely. And you need to understand that kids also need to stay connected and feel connected.
They use their devices for so much more than this and you need to trust them with that. Keep track of what your kid does in devices he or she uses. The peer group may be supplying some content for which you need to keep an eye on your kid’s school-issued computer.
3. Do Not Ignore It
It is also unwise to ignore your child and the topic in general if you find them watching porn. It is the responsibility of every parent to talk to their kids about these issues and the birds and bees. We know that you might be embarrassed about talking about these subjects to your kids. Your kids might also feel more awkward talking about watching pornography to you.
The problem is that your child might face some problematic issues if you do not address the issues. Watching pornography can be extremely problematic when it comes to making impressions on young minds. So you must address the problems. If you do not do so, it might cause them to have a pornography addiction.
They might also develop unrealistic expectations about the performance or even intimacy. These might cause serious problems relating to mental health and even intimacy issues in the long term. Hence ignoring is not the solution.
4. Do Not Make Assumptions
You need to trust your kids. It is what makes the bond between a parent and their child stronger. Having trust between a parent and a child is a beautiful feeling. So if you stumble upon your child watching porn, ask them about what happened. If they say that they clicked on something and porn came on the screen, do not deny those claims.
You need to believe your child and trust them in these situations. But if this occurs more than several times, you need to realize that your child may be lying to you. There are many ways that pornography or nude content is presented on different sites. It is essential for you to listen to your kid and communicate properly as parents.
It may come up as advertisements on some websites or as click baits. So it may just be a case that your child did not voluntarily search for porn. Your suspicious behaviour and you are being paranoid will just make your child feel like you don’t trust them. So do not make assumptions before you talk to them. Keep an open mind.
What To Do If Your Kid Is Watching Porn?
Now that we have talked about what you should not be doing when you find your child watching pornography, we are going to talk about what you should do. You have to be careful when you address these issues. And we also have kept in mind that all families have different approaches when it comes to handling situations. Modern-day parenting is not easy for which you may need to change your parenting style.
We will provide you with plenty of suggestions on what you should do. But this does not mean that what you might have done is hurting them. You can discuss with your partner and have a proper smart plan guide on what to do. Your family can take a different approach and still have a positive and healthy outcome.
You just need to be sensitive and gentle with your child. You need to view them as curious teenagers rather than criminals and also be polite and careful. Be careful of what you say. smart plan guide out beforehand on which approach you will take in handling this situation rather than having an awkward impromptu discussion.
So here are some suggestions that you can take if you find that your kid is watching porn. You can apply them according to the approach of your family.
1. Have An Open Conversation
You need to address the situation by talking to your kid. We suggest you not do it immediately when you catch them watching pornography as it might be embarrassing at that given time. Take some time to map up what topics you want to cover. If you have not talked about the “Birds and Bees” yet, then it is the right time to talk to your child about this topic.
While talking to your child, you need to address them gently. Do not start shouting or talk in a louder voice. Talk to them naturally and teach them about these topics. Tell them that these urges are natural and happen to everyone.
Be open to their queries. Talk to them about your views on why watching pornography at a young age might be harmful to them. If you openly talk to them, your kids will not hesitate to talk to you about their problems in the future. They will be willing to seek you out for advice when they come across something that is causing them a problem.
2. Talk To Them About The Dangers Of Porn
It is also a necessity to talk about pornography addiction when you find your child watching porn. People watch porn as they might find it entertaining. But it also tends to be addictive when it comes to people who might be vulnerable.
Teenagers often find pornography to be fascinating. Teenagers have the production of dopamine. This hormone is responsible for controlling the pleasure and reward centers of the brain and the process of forming neural connections within the brain itself.
This means that when teenagers watch pornography their dopamine is at a high level. This combination means that teenagers are more vulnerable to addiction. At a stage in life when hormone levels are changing and puberty is ongoing, teenagers are naturally very curious about sex.
The increased exposure to sex and sexualization within the media means that this curiosity is appearing at a much younger age than in previous generations. With many parents and teachers often being reluctant to discuss sex, the easy access to pornography on the internet means that many teenagers will use this as their primary source of information.
Hence, you need to inform your child about these problematic aspects of porn.
3. Talk About The Unrealistic Side Of Porn
You also need to talk to your child about how porn sets unrealistic expectations on different things. Porn can set unrealistic expectations about relationships and views on women. We can all admit that pornography objectifies humans just as sexual objects. They are also blamed for portraying women just as sexual beings. This can cause your child to have a wrong view of women in general.
Porn also has unrealistic expectations when it comes to the bodies of men and women. They are portrayed to have perfect bodies without any scars and hair. They also cause children to have unrealistic views of bodies that they should have. It can cause body image issues and alter their expectations.
Sexual performance is another factor that may be an issue in the long term. Pornography tends to show unrealistic sexual performance for both men and women. Just be sure to address all these issues when talking to your child.
4. Talk About Setting Healthy Boundaries
So to tackle your child watching pornography, talk to them about having healthy boundaries of reality and the virtual world. Talk to them about setting personal standards when it comes to viewing pornographic content. If you are concerned about your kids coming across pornographic content, talk to them about setting parental controls.
Use these parental controls to block and filter inappropriate content. You can also use parental controls to monitor their browsing history for signs of pornography addiction. Setting healthy boundaries can also be helpful for them to understand that curiosity is natural at this age. Talk to your teenagers or tweens on having certain standards.
Conclusion
So, if you find out that our kid is watching porn, try to have an open conversation. Don’t ignore it or shame them. Explain the unrealistic side of the porn and make sure to set a healthy boundary with your kid.
