Do you find yourself wanting your kid to be more popular, as if that would be the magic wand to ensure their happiness and success in life? Even though I look back on my own teenage years and am glad that I wasn’t one of the "in group", I find myself wanting that for my kids. How important is it that our kids are popular? Is it really better for them to be popular, or do they just need to learn to deal with this major adolescent issue? Like all parents, this issue is driven home to me periodically when my kids’ popularity is at stake.

Let’s face it, popularity is one of the toughest issues that kids have to work through. Arguably, no time is tougher than the young teen years; at least that was true for me growing up. By mid to late teens, most kids have settled into their groups, or at least the lucky ones have, and if it is the nerds, or the drama geeks or some other group that is less than the in-crowd, the self-esteem blow is not so hard anymore.

I was reminded earlier today what parents can and can’t do to help our kids through this tough time. We can make sure our kids have a haven, a place where they know they are welcomed and cherished for who they are. Although we are powerless to stop the social blows, if they have a haven that will mitigate the damage. (more…)